about me

Currently striving to capture what Richard Hell called the experience of being "tormentedly young."

I have a blue and white Budgie parakeet named Alice who is inexplicably obsessed with Greek music and can't figure out how to stick a landing to save her life; I also have a rainbow Bourke parakeet named Gordo who only has one foot (he doesn't like to talk about it, so don't ask). Tchaikovsky, Green Day, and Hozier have composed most of the soundtrack to my twenties thus far. I went All-American in my second year of Mock Trial. Arguing with me has been described as "exhausting" and akin to running a marathon. I own a number of replica historical weapons; whether I know how to actually use them is between me, God, and anyone who tries to break in. I'm not sure if this comes up a standard background check, but I really don't want to talk about what happened in Amsterdam. I think languages are awesome and can properly appall anyone fluent in French, Slovenian, Old Norse, or Latin. I'm weirdly good at Tetris. I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.