about me

Currently striving to capture what Richard Hell called the experience of being tormentedly young.

I have a blue and white parakeet named Alice who is inexplicably obsessed with Greek music and cannot fly but a few inches off the ground. Tchaikovsky, Green Day, and Hozier have composed most of the soundtrack to my twenties thus far. I went All-American in my second year of Mock Trial. Arguing with me has been described as "exhausting" and akin to running a marathon. I own a number of replica historical weapons; whether I know how to actually use them is between me, God, and anyone who tries to break in. I'm not sure if this comes up a standard background check, but I really don't want to talk about what happened in Amsterdam. I think languages are awesome and can properly appall anyone fluent in French, Slovenian, Old Norse, or Latin. I'm weirdly good at Tetris. I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.